Is recovery possible?

What does recovery mean? What does recovery look like?

Who am I if I am recovered? Where do the parts of me shut off by recovery go?

Do I really want recovery? What is holding me back?

What the fuck am I doing with my life?!

I am so discouraged. And frustrated. All I want to do is sleep/lay in bed or on the couch all day.

I am also already tired of my parents.

I cannot count the number of times I have wondered how the FUCK this has become my life in the last 5 weeks. Today's moment came when I was sitting next to a woman who has battled schizophrenia for 30+ years while we chuckled over the ridiculousness of our "self esteem brochures"

Mental illness doesn't discriminate and it sure doesn't give a fuck ( Read more... )

Home.

Overwhelmed.

Trying to stay busy and recovery focused and remember my boundaries.

Mostly just want to sleep all day. Must stay out of bed.

So this recovery business is much harder than I anticipated. Not that I thought it would be easy but I was not expecting this much of a battle. I am doing ok, but far from great. Breakdowns on the regular. I'm honestly not even sure I'll be ready to leave in 35 days :-/.

( Read more... )

Snuck phone in with parents! I am alive and doing ehhhhh. But I am alive. So there's that.

Ughhhh insurance companies are such a pain in the ass to deal with.

I've decided to go into treatment and I have all possible emotions happening.

This insomnia may kill me.

Maybe it's time to consider treatment.

I don't even know what that means.

I really wanted to break 100 before this happened. I'm 101.

I don't even know.